Tools to Discerning What is the Next Best Thing to Do...Big or Small

I have often mentioned the old metaphor taught to me long ago.  I have called it to many of you  “feelings are road signs”.  As we drive our cars from here to there, there are signs everywhere…”this way to Greenville”, “men at work ahead”, “merge”, “Starbucks (stop here!)”… and on and on. 

Someone once said that our feelings play the exact function of road signs in our inner worlds. 

They contain code, information, vital material for our next-best-thing-to-do toward well being and goodness and thriving our lives.  All things I am passionate about leading others (and myself) to follow.  If we pay attention, there is wisdom in our deep places (AKA the knit-in Holy Spirit-laced authentic self) that has exactly what we need to arrive there.

“At the heart of the discernment process is the ability to pay attention to…the inner dynamics that give us clues to whether the step we are considering will nurture life in us: the life of Christ lived in and through our most authentic self.”  (Haley Barton, 2004)

For example, you find yourself angry.  There is more there than your natural inclination to lash out or run.  If we bend our ear in, there are many possibilities we might hear.  Maybe, “your boundaries are not well there”. “That person is serving a purpose they were not meant to serve”. “If you are brave enough to use your True Voice here, you will see blessing”.

“That part of you deserves honor, not shame”. 

I love pairing this metaphor with teaching well know from St Ignatius.  He was an early follower of Jesus who lived around the early 16^th century.  He had a passion for moving toward the life of Christ.  God birthed in him language that I feel is so helpful to use today.  In his book and practices the Spiritual Exercises, he defines the concepts of consolation and desolation.

“Consolation is the inner movement of the heart that gives us a deep sense of life-giving connection with God, others, and our authentic self in God.  It is the sense that all is right with the world [all is well, all will be well], that I am free to be given over to God and to love even in moments of pain or crisis….” 

There is a difference in what simply feels good or “warm and fuzzy” and what Ignatius is referring to in consolation.  Rather “happy” Ignatius wants us to be led by what CONNECTS us to our Lord, our relationships, and to our true self.  For more explanation click here. It is not always the easy nice choice that brings this deep and satisfying union and communion.

“…Desolation is the loss of a sense of God’s presence.  We feel out of touch with God, with others, and with our most authentic self.  It is the experience of being off-center, full of turmoil, confusion, and maybe even rebellion. 

God’s will for us is generally for us to do more of that which gives us life (John  10:10) and to turn away from activities that drain life from us and debilitate us.” (Haley Barton, 2004)

¹⁹ This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live ²⁰ and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life…”

Deuteronomy 30: 18-20

Most significant decisions [And, I would add, many smaller, daily decisions] …involve  the ability to notice what brings a sense of life and freedom to the true self as well as experience ourselves in God.  (Haley Barton, 2004)

All of this inner dynamic work asks of us to pay attention.  To make that transition as needed to turn our perception inward for long enough to feel clear in our perception of consolation or desolation, one or the other.  Then begins the work of what to do about it.  Once you have clarity on what brings you life or what decays your vibrancy…the work becomes that of what is the next right choice to make to move toward that which I long for most. 

Sometimes it takes an effort that is bet met by extending your resources out beyond what lies within your skin.  I have certainly felt that way many times. 

By yourself you’re unprotected.

With a friend you can face the worst.

Can you round up a third?

A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped. Ecclesiastes 4:12 Message

My blessing, my “get-to”, is to wait here, not going anywhere.  Should you need to lean in, you know where to find me J

Haley Barton, Ruth. (2004).  Invitation to Solitude and Silence.  InterVarsity Press. Downers Grove, Il.