New Years Eve in August...Why are you here?

August presents a "New Year's Eve" experience for many of us.  Just as much if not more as January calls us to a recalibration of ourselves, because of the change of tide around the school year...this month requires a reset too.

During the summer there is a shared longing to  "exhale" - to enjoy the change of rhythm and the experiences offered through that nurture our soul if we let them.  There is an example in the Bible of a man on a journey that includes a trajectory of high productivity, leading to high stress and fear, leading to  a collapse into restoration that looks like this "exhale" we long for in the summer season. Many of us have recent months behind us that look somewhat similar.

Elijah in 1 Kings 19 doesn't really have a say in his rest...he more or less crumbles into it.  Our pursuit should be to honor when we need to peel away and be replenished BEFORE we have nothing left to show for it...see my last post on "dangerous tired". 

In this story, an angel attends to Elijah's needs.  He  allows him to sleep, periodically waking him up to eat and drink:  "Get up and eat, otherwise the journey will be too much for you." Part of me wants to just let this be the conclusion of the message I take away for myself...let yourself be restored and nurtured and stay there.   We would be missing out on the most neon aspect of the blessing if we had it that way.  For Elijah and us as well, this in preparation for the next thing purpose....An encounter with God. Listen to how the story goes in the translation "The Voice":

⁶ Elijah looked and found a breadcake sitting over charcoal near his head. There was also a jar of water. He ate the food and drank the water, and then he lay back down... ⁸ Elijah got up and ate the food and drank the water. His body felt strong again, and he journeyed for 40 more days and 40 more nights to Horeb, God’s mountain... Eternal One: ¹¹  "Leave this cave, and go stand on the mountainside in My presence..."Why are you here, Elijah? What is it that you desire?"

God knows the subtlest movements in our hearts.  He very well knows the answer to these questions.  He asks them for our sake. 

The rest in Elijah's story was only the beginning.  I am so glad that the Eternal One doesn't stop there...he uses rest to poise us for the only thing that really satisfies.  Ever. 

"Leave this cave (maybe this summer of rest?)...and go stand on the mountainside in my presence". 

Placing ourselves on the mountainside of the fall, in the presence of our Lord is the best way I know to launch into the ensuing months of external hustle and bustle.

So, here is the invitation.  Moving from the landscape of summer in to the activity of fall...how would you answer this question?  God asks us so sincerely and tenderly "What is it that you desire?" "Why do you feel you are here, in this time and place in this fall season?"  

But what if you don't know the answer?

Psalm 46:10 is a staple in my brain for understanding what to do if the answers are not clear. "it tells us there is a kind of knowing that comes in silence and not in words--but first we must be still...when we give into the exhaustion that comes from trying to put everything into words and mental concepts, we give our mind permission to just stop.  We give ourselves over to the experience of Reality itself." (Barton, 2010). 

"Be patient toward all that is  unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign language. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is to live everything.  Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually without knowing it, live along some distant day into the answer.  [R.M. Rilke]

What would it look like for you to pursue that?  Find your praying place, sit still and take a few prayer breaths.  then, try this  guided prayer experience in Ruth Haley Barton's book "Silence and Solitude":

What is it you need to know in the stillness that you haven't been able to know in the noisiness and business of your mind?  What is the "I don't know" place in your life that no amount of thinking and wordiness has been able to touch with any kind of answer? sit with God with your questions.  Say it out loud. Tell him how it feels not to have the answer, but resist the urge to grasp for answers.  to force clarity that isn't there or cling to mental process for figuring things out.  Allow related issues, concerns, and thoughts to present themselves, but don't' dwell on them.  Let them pass by like clouds in the sky.  Rather than trying to figure anything out or grasp for anything, rest in god's presence with your question.  Close your time of silence by praying the Lord's prayer, allowing the words and phrases to shape your response to your question and to the next activity you engage in.  

I'd love to hear your responses here in the comment section if you like. If you need help, it's one of my favorite conversations to have.  You know where to find me.

The next part of the Scripture is my favorite.  Stay tuned for the rest of the story...

Barton, R.H.  2010.  Invitation to Silence and Solitude. Intervarsity Press.  Downers Grove, IL.