Self Governing

There is a continuum we are all somewhere on.  On one side, there is a militant, critical, rigid, over-ruled economy.  On the other end, we find a lack of boundaries, over lavish, over indulgent, “What’s one more?”, “Go for it—you deserve it!”

So curious is the power this mental environment has over wellbeing.

What needs to be keen to our senses is that Love and Care defined is found in the center of that bell curve with lavish on one end and rigid on the other.

So remarkable is the reflection of upbringing on this mental contour that we bend toward. Considering that time ago when you were new and youthful, does you internal climate reflect a similar slant that is familiar from your upbringing? Or maybe you have crafted a mental environment in reaction to an approach in your childhood that you want to move away from—the antithesis?

Lord, help me to govern myself with balance: grace and order.  Wake me up and help me to smell the fragrance that is sweet when I tune in and hold to center.  There are things I know I need to do to be well.  There is a set of action items specific to my well being. Why do I scoot through my day without plugging into them? And then do it again the next day? Picking my head up, I scan the backdrop I am operating from , and I regret things undone, or done.

What I need is a square peg for my square whole—an analogy I think of often. What will really satisfy?  What will truly salve?  What elixir fits these symptoms that empty me?

“I don’t do what I should do”  “I do what I don’t want to do”

–Romans 7

Instead, how often I find round things and senselessly roll them around, trying to fit that square.  Bearing no goodness, no fruit at all.  The round becomes a red herring—distracting me from what would ultimately undo my boundness, my stuckness, fill my empty places.

When I call my own bluff, peel off my blinders, I accept what life requires of me to be well. 

I resist self contempt and apply healthy pressure to my tendencies that go untamed, mismanaged. 

Then, I feel traction in my life—like I have found a toehold and pushed upward my being a notch further away from shallow breathing and sour complacency.  I have memorized the landscape from the vantage point of that complacency—I know it’s contours well and there is no awe and no transformation.

There is new positioning acquired from governing intentionally, holding to center, and an ability to balance now that that square whole is properly filled in. When governed differently, the terrain takes a whole different shape.

Thank you, Lord, that it is your zeal.  You, the God of the Angel Armies,  that powers that upward notch. When your authority grows, wholeness is found.  Thank you for  Grace that provides “firm footing” and “right living” and wellbeing.

Isaiah 9 (The Message)

His names will be: Amazing Counselor, 
   Strong God,
Eternal Father, 
   Prince of Wholeness.
His ruling authority will grow, 
   and there'll be no limits to the wholeness he brings.
He'll rule from the historic David throne 
   over that promised kingdom.
He'll put that kingdom on a firm footing 
   and keep it going
With fair dealing and right living, 
   beginning now and lasting always.
The zeal of God-of-the-Angel-Armies